Pastoral Care of Pastors and Their Families > Ideas for Affirming/Encouraging Pastors

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Pastors and their spouses are like anyone else - they need to be affirmed and encouraged. And because of the nature of the pastor and his or her family's public presence, the constant "nice sermon, pastor" or "we are glad you are here" and other well-intentioned comments that come their don't really have the impact that some would assume. Along with these comments, pastors often hear critical comments that also come their way. And most people tend to remember the negative comments they receive more than the positive ones! So don't assume that because a pastor seems healthy and happy in their work that they are not in need of hearing a friendly voice speak into their life from time to time.

While every pastor and spouse is different in how they react and internalize the flood of comments they constantly receive, most of them will appreciate affirmation and encouragement from someone in their conference. Since you are their pastor, you are in the best position to make sure they feel valued and wanted by your conference. At times even your voice won't be enough - they may need to hear something from their president or other administrative team members. If you sense that one of your pastors needs to hear from an administrator, you can quietly pass that information on to your administrators.

In general, however, most of your pastors will feel affirmed and encouraged if they know you think about them occasionally. You can let them know this in any number of ways:

•A brief phone call

•An e-mail

•A text message

•A note/card you write and send

•A call with an offer to take the pastor and their spouse out for a meal

•A call with an offer to take the pastor's pulpit one Sabbath for them if you sense they need a break (tell them that you'll come only on the condition that they take that weekend off with their family)

•A small gift: a book, a nice pen, a pair of nice, warm gloves if winter is approaching, an invitation to take them out for a round of golf or other activity

If you are consistent with making such contacts, your pastors will know that they are valued, and they will begin to feel safe enough with you that they will be more open with you when they are experiencing challenges.